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16 May 2011

Month of Roses

May is the month of roses here. It's also the month marked with the sweetest occurence, which is bittersweet for me. I have an amazing daughter to love and cherish, and the more my relationship with her evolves into a meaningful connection, the more I have difficulty understanding how a parent wouldn't want the same with their child. The more I feel estranged by my own mother.

Sadly, I've nobody to honour on Mother's Day, but my baby honours me daily in many different ways. This year, for the first time ever, she made it official in her own cute, personalized way. I guess her initiatives will be only more inventive from now on. The perspective gives me profund joy and strenght not to care if the bond with my own mother is non-existant.

"Happy Mother's Day by your child Alice." Simple and effective. Alice challenges me daily to be a better mom. She taught me patience, affection, gratitude and is influencing my life for the best.

Sometimes I watch her walk on the path she's supposed to and I feel so proud because the somone who is guiding her, investing long hours daily to shape her into the adult that she'll become, it's me. And despite the fact hat I don't have family around me, I hope to create a sense of belonging for my daughter. It'll be small, but good.

Mother's Day and roses are meant to be together. May is the month when they come into perfection. "Those days of May, when all is suggested, nothing yet fulfilled." (Francis King)

You love the roses - so do I. I wish
The sky would rain down roses, as they rain
From off the shaken bush. Why will it not?
Then all the valley would be pink and white
And soft to tread on. They would fall as light
As feathers, smelling sweet; and it would be
Like sleeping and like waking, all at once! 

 George Eliot

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