"Mom, you know, you're magic!"
"Am I, sweetie? Thanks! And you're my precious gift. Come here, let me hug you!"
Wow, these are the moments that truly cheered me up yesterday. Every mother loves when they discover their kids have their same feelings. Especially when the world shakes and seems to fall apart. I hope I can be the kind of mother my daughter will look up and come to with both her worries and her joys.
Having this in mind, I forced mysef to have breakfast in my favorite cafe this morning, after taking her to school. It doesn't matter if yesterday night I swore I would start eating healthy today. I just entered the cozy room, forcing myself to end the bear existence I've confined myself in lately, and ordered a cappuccino and a chocolate croissant.
It didn't work, I ended up feeling sick. I'm not ready yet, I just can't focus and I don't feel at ease with people around. I'm in a strange place mentally, just happy to get to bed without incident. But I'm not discouraged. I try to focus on my path, which I know is arduous. I just take one thing at a time. I know I can survive.
This explains my silence on this blog. I'm on a pause, trying to regain my balance and be a little more oriented in life.
I've been making lots of videos as a therapy. Learning new tools helps me feel useful. I feel I've got lots of unexpressed potential and I'm just practicing new ways to nurture my creativity. This is a battle, I'm aware I'm at a life crossroads. Take it or leave it. And I want to take it. We'll see how ...
I just need to be less indulgent. Damn, I'll go and clean my house top to bottom now. Then I'll go out and do the grocery shopping I keep postponing. Or maybe, just lay down and read my new book. You'll get to know this in my next post!