I'm so angry and disillusioned that I run errand all day, feeling apatic and slightly desperate. The only things I do are for my princess. I would like to stay in bed all day long. Really. To forget. To forgive. Life sucks and hits me hard. I stop and listen to it but I've got my limits. I think I had enough.
Stop it please. I want to be free. I want to be happy again. I want my life balance back. Because I think I lost mine. Gosh!
Is there anything I can do but survive? Why did I stay in my place for 12 years and it wasn't enough? Why? One makes sacrifices an then a total stranger arrives and blows it all away. Crucifixing yourself on the wall of your desperation and forcing you to battle the demons you thought you had won before. Making ghosts you didn't even had to deal with come to surface.
Is this the price I have to pay to have my own family? No thank you. This isn't what I had imagined for myself when I said yes. And now even my life project seems to fade away. I'm becoming cynical. I'm becoming different. And I don't like to be forced to mature this way. Because I think I'm already fucking mature, you know? :(