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23 August 2011


Hello folks, I'm back from Hvar. It was a terrific holiday, and I'll blog about it soon. Just for the time being I've this impellent urge to post about my objective reflections about motherhood. We spent so much intimate time with my brother-in-law and his family this August (we were on hols together in Croatia) that I couldn't help noticing the differences about our opposite ways to raise children. 

Nothing judgmental, of course, just a few considerations I took mental notes of and can't wait to share them here. I'm a Mommy Blogger too after all, aren't I?

So here are the five reasons why I consider myself to be a bad mother:

1) Sometimes I leave my kid alone in front of the TV to have her breakfast while I check emails and Facebook. She knows she can't disturb as it's me time then, and I indulge in my cup of tea longer to make my moment last. I could wake up earlier and do this on my own and then have breakfast with my cutie, but most of the times I don't. 

2) Unless we go to the desert, I never pack essentials when we go out, so it's always a rush to the next shop to buy some water at least. Those rare times when I had everything prepared, I forgot it at home in the kitchen. 

3) I never say no to silly things on our trips to the supermarket, be it a kids magazine, a chocolate bar or a pen. And I only blame my daughter for being more fortunate than any other African AFTER she has her hands full.

4) I don't instill too much rigour and love for order. My baby leaves things everywhere unattended, which I sometimes collect and sometimes order her to, but not regularly. 

5) When I'm frustrated, I scream. It happens seldomly but I do, and I hate myself on those moments because it reminds me of my mother. And she's the last person I want to resemble to. 

Here are the other five reasons I consider myself to be a good mother instead:

1) I never inflict corporal punishments neither I verbally or emotionally abuse of my kid.

2) I'm always frank, I try to talk about everything in easy words, even disturbing or taboo subjects. And I never lie.

3) I don't over-protect socially. I tend to let her live her experiences and I encourage her to be brave.

4) I read to her since she was born. 

5) I never dare to judge her body or humiliate her in public for her looks/behaviour. I avoid making comments about others too. When we're with other people who are more open on the subject, I tend to minimize and distract her. 

I'm aware that many of the things I consider good may be bad to others, as well as the bad things I do sound outrageous. Nobody is perfect and this is the type of approach to motherhood that works fine for me. I noticed that being honest always pays in the long run. In this way my daughter is just a kid, not a little adult who fights to be fawless. She dreams, is able to start a game out of nothing, plays with imagination and gets easily enthusiast and is curious and adventurous and happy as any child her age should be.

Alice lost another tooth while in Hvar. She was soo proud! Of course, both Croatian and Italian fairies visited.
I hope to have the strenght to continue to be the mother I want and feel at my own terms and conditions, always following my instinct and never submitting to any of the decency or stereotype that society requires nowadays. This world is odd. I sooo want Alice to grow independent and remain attached to me at the same time. I'll always be here for her, no matter what.

"The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness" (Balzac), after all. I wish this applied to my own mother too. But that's a completely different story ...


  1. Loved your post! So honest, and of course you're a wonderful mom, that reflects on how happy Alice is. Being a "perfect mom" (btw, what is that?) is not being a great mom. Yesterday I was thinking about this topic and write a post of my reflections on it ;)

  2. You are not a bad mother: sure, you made and you will make mistakes, but that is part of life. Alice will see mistakes for what they are and will be glad her mamma is not this perfect robot. You don't really have to be rigorous as Alice knows where the limits are - you are teaching them as you go. All the "good mum" reasons are the most valid: I see you interact with her and you are doing a brilliant job, my dear. There is of course space for improvement.... like please, bring a bottle of water with you whenever you leave the house:)))

  3. I know, I know nobody's perfect, and I'm here to show it to my fullest! LOL I'll really try not to forget a bottle of water anymore, Sandra! he he


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